This was an exercise to see if I could combine my two favorite forms of poetry, haiku and sestina, and to place the poem in Japan, and use a natural theme. By far the most difficult poem I’ve written. The rules are in my sidebar.
“The Land Of Sorrows”
distant white capped peaks
pilgrims assent sandals worn
sun releases songs
floating beneath clouds
bright colored ancestors shrine
incense curls to sky
trees bend angry sky
waves frothing to deadly peaks
Kompira-san shrine
long stairway steps worn
camphor and elm among clouds
sea deity songs
drums pound ancient songs
thunder lifts to sullen sky
drowned from swirling clouds
ragged lightning peaks
poor rice farmer spirits worn
downstream floating shrine
sacred temple shrine
petitioners chanted songs
polished wood planks worn
shrieking birds fill sky
Nainokami shakes peaks
landslides choking clouds
flames feed oily clouds
bronze bells tolling mournful shrine
Shinto black hat peaks
white costumed death songs
purification clears sky
new amulets worn
old trembling hands worn
brown eyes contain milky clouds
memory of sky
last journey to shrine
lifetime spent prayerful songs
Amida call peaks
pale clothes worn to shrine
parting clouds hear somber songs
blessed sky sun warm peaks
Linked for Open Link Night 1/12/17.
I really enjoyed this melding of forms. Very well done. I like the envoy quite a bit.
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Thank you AC. I doubt I’ll try another one though. 🙂
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I understand. Have you ever done the Swinburne Double Rhyming Sestina?
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That sounds serious. Is it contagious?
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Lmao. If insanity is contagious, then…yes, it is.
I know you like sestinas. This one is a double sestina. So, it’s 150 lines, comprised of 12 stanzas of 12 lines each, plus a 6 line envoy. The end words are rhyming.
It’s crazy to tackle, and not for the faint of heart. I have only ever written one, and it was from a challenge by another blogger/follower. But, I have often thought of trying it again.
We shall see.
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The effort seems worth it! Beautiful poem 😊
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Thank you Zoe. Appreciate your support.
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This is a journey filled with prayerful songs ~ This is my first to see such a blending of form, whew ~ Kudos for introducing and embarking on this poetic adventure ~
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Thank you Grace, this took most of a day to write and lots of googling. 🙂
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Wow, this was a huge challenge. Actually I think you managed well given that the sestina typical repetiveness have been hidden. So I bow in awe.
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Thank you very much. I felt every step of the journey.
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I am in awe. This was quite a challenge, and you met it beautifully.
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Thanks, no need for awe. 🙂
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Beautiful imagery. You’ve managed to weave this piece perfectly.
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A weaving of life and death.
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I liked the repetition of all the different songs. Perhaps that is one of the requirements of the form.
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I’m not sure. The songs are integral to the ceremony. The entire poem is shrouded in smoke and fog.
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Love the imagery! Sestina is a difficult form and to combine it with a haiku deserves applause!❤️ Really well done 🙂
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Thank you, I like writing both, but this is the only time I combined them.
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As a stand alone piece I really enjoyed it. I have no idea what sestina is so will now go find out and perhaps re read with my new found awareness.
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Thanks Paul. Sestina is a fun form. I’ve found it fits well with many prompts.
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It appears to be a mathematicians form to me…I will have a go….at some point.
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The scenery of the poem are very mind-catching. I admire the way the last three lines close the poem full circle, in written but also the emotional way.
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Thanks very much for reading it as a circle.
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You really set the bar high for yourself with this challenge of melding forms but accomplished it well…I love the incorporation of sky and shrine within the forms 🙂
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Thanks. It was a challenge, but it holds a good place in my works.
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wow what a brilliantly ambitious write ~ a sestina in itself is a difficult poem to carry off without it reading incredibly rigid and betraying all of its rules, and here you’ve managed to double it and flank it with haikus and absolutely succeeded all while including great imagery like “brown eyes contain milky clouds”
great to read, cheers
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Glad you enjoyed the read.
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Your poem (and my years in Japan) inspired me to look up Sestina — it is a big challenge, and tells why the poem seems trippy, repetitive and a bit scattered like worn clouds singing in the sky above the mountain shrine. Fun — and mixing a Haiku flavor at that!
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Sestina is a very interesting form and can be fun to push the boundaries.
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The blending of forms is quite amazing! Kudos indeed!
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Thanks Lillian, glad you enjoyed.
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