a trusted recipe for love

Whether working from scratch or from a time-honored secret family recipe, when it comes to love everyone has their own opinion as to what makes the best ingredients. There are however many ingredients that should always be included in any type of marriage bondage, err bonds.

Note: the quantities feeds two but you can adjust to suit your needs.

4 cups of Dry Communication.

This first ingredient begins with the attraction stage when the glances and smiles lead to sharing life stories. Communication is also easily forsaken later so make sure it is blended well into the finished product.

2 pints of Liquid Passion

You can get the dry version of Passion but for the best results seek out the highest quality liquid you can afford. It should be clear with a smoky aftertaste that is smooth never bitter.

1 and 1/2 sticks of Intimacy

The next ingredient is vital as it’s the agent that binds together lasting love. Often mistaken for Passion, to the detriment of the marriage, a stick of Intimacy should be firm yet yielding and very long-lasting.

3 ounces of Respect

1 tablespoon of Anger

2 pounds of minced Sex

1 teaspoon of Pain

2 liquid ounces of Empathy

1 whole thinly chopped Support

The ingredients above can and should be adjusted often to meet the changing needs within a marriage. Try adding different spices and kinks to flavor the dish and make it uniquely yours. Don’t be afraid to experiment and show your love in a variety of ways. So now that we have a good base to work with, let’s start putting it all together.

Take a large mixing bowl and sift the 4 cups of Communication until it’s smooth. Add the 1 tablespoon of Anger, 1 teaspoon of Pain and the 3 ounces of Respect, gently blend together then set to one side. Next in a large saucepan over medium heat melt the 1 and 1/2 sticks of Intimacy. Slowly pour into the pan the 2 pints of Passion and 2 ounces of Empathy and heat until simmering. Add the thinly chopped Support and cook until the sauce turns brown then remove from the heat.

Next you want to combine the dry and liquid ingredients together so slowly pour the sauce while blending it into the dry mix. Be very careful not to pour too quickly as this will make clumps in the bowl, but don’t wait until the sauce is cold as this will make the love curdle. When completely mixed together the ingredients should be smooth and thick but flowing. The next step should be done by the happy couple and that’s adding the 2 pounds of minced Sex into the batter [hopefully you’ll do this naked.]

Preheat the oven to 450 degrees F while you’re adding the Sex and when thoroughly satisfied you’ve spent enough time together with the wet and the dry, scoop the batter into a greased baking dish. Before you pop the bun in the oven though there are three more ingredients to add.

1/2 cup of grated Joy

3/4 cup of ground Laughter

A pinch of Tears

Take these last three ingredients and sprinkle across the top of the dish. They will add a flavorful crust and zest to a meal that is both nutritious and filling. Hope this recipe works for you.

Bon Appétit

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