love is hard work, you know?

“pain feels good”

if every surface was silver
or linoleum
we’d never get sick

if every memory was perfect
or happy
we’d never get angry

I never think of you between the hours of sunrise and sunrise
how you reached in and tore out my hope
ate it raw
right there
in front of my crying
mushed up
hiccuping diaphragm
then sneering
slapped my face

it was then
the past became an anchor

the scent of summer
fresh cut hay
motes dancing in zephyrs brought east from cool reaches and snow-capped peaks teasing of stories wrapped in deer-hide fringes and scalps
the cast iron chain plunges off the capstan

I go with it

I don’t bother holding my breath

I want to drown

funny how water’s not much of a trampoline
not much use ingesting water without gills
kinda makes a person dead real quick
except if icy
the brain freezes before necrobiosis begins

that’s how I felt
after you slapped me
my brain died
I died
all that made up me flew away
on wings of thirty pound paper
bound in leather
and cardboard
characters more real than life

now I no longer have any idea who is ‘me’

me is a composite of brilliant authors
their past creating my future
and now
today
being slapped
was the best thing that ever happened to me

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