fishing for a complaint

Lavender Roaring Fork Clinchfield always enjoyed a nice pizza pie, with a slice of amore on the side, so when Miss Generous Tupelo invited him to Beauregard’s Italian and Live Bait, he didn’t hesitate. The décor was a nod to the region’s rugged pioneering past, with miner’s lamps instead of candles and repurposed shovels for chairs. They shared a mischievous spirit and showed up for dinner in matching waders, with flies hooked through soft hats. There was no doubt they looked silly, but blind obedience to social expectations was not part of their vocabulary, although sushi was off the menu.

The Daily Post prompt
Three Word Wednesday prompt

Please support Three Word Wednesday.

Authors note: This link Iron Hollows Fiction goes to the “Iron Hollows” category of 100-drabble fiction segments or click each drabble link below. They are not serially linked but rather vignettes set in and around the fictional town of Iron Hollows.

Dramatis Personae:
Lavender Roaring Fork Clinchfield: True scion of the South: notable for his fashion plate and bachelorhood.
Chromium: An American Blue Gascon fond of sniffing the ladies.
Miss Forsythia and Miss Hydrangea: Perky and together in that way.
Troubadour Peppermint: Deceased founder and savvy huckster.
Harmonious Intent: Deceased rival to Troubadour, prolific and fertile bigamist.
Sanctimonious Poppermince: Direct male descendant of Troubadour, current mayor and a disappointment.
Generous Tupelo: A woman with eyes for fun and a body for sin.

“the legend of the time before”
“along the non-existent waterfront”
“gunpowder explodes, fireworks delight”
“clouds play peek-a-boo with moon”
“homemade gravy for the grits”
“unsuccessful sultry spring seduction”
“where there is snow there are complaints”
“thankfully the tavern had stocked up”
“air as crisp as a grilled McIntosh”
“auction night to fill the food pantry”
“discontent brews in men’s souls”
“boogie to classic carols”
“sometimes surrender is inevitable”
“misty smells gather in the valley”
“a collector of all things rare”
“pass the salt please”
“monuments fossilized by the past”
“secret sauce of peppermint schnapps”
“always read the fine print”
“another type of deadly weapon”

another type of deadly weapon

Lavender Roaring Fork Clinchfield had something in common with the Misses Forsythia and Hydrangea; they all loved glitter. Hardcore crafters, the three of them spent Wednesday nights at his mansion hideout along with the rest of the Hot Glue Gunners. Chromium liked to model the many outfits, his tail a rhythmic counterpoint to the high-pitched giggles of the tipsy matrons. By the end of the evening, the frantic pace would become languid, and loose sparkles covered everyone with rainbow flair. All their creations were sold at the Rusted Sisters of Mercy thrift shop. Lavender’s impish impulses always made something inappropriate.

The Daily Post prompt
Three Word Wednesday prompt

Please support Three Word Wednesday.

Authors note: This link Iron Hollows Fiction goes to the “Iron Hollows” category of 100-drabble fiction segments or click each drabble link below. They are not serially linked but rather vignettes set in and around the fictional town of Iron Hollows.

Dramatis Personae:
Lavender Roaring Fork Clinchfield: True scion of the South: notable for his fashion plate and bachelorhood.
Chromium: An American Blue Gascon fond of sniffing the ladies.
Miss Forsythia and Miss Hydrangea: Perky and together in that way.
Troubadour Peppermint: Deceased founder and savvy huckster.
Harmonious Intent: Deceased rival to Troubadour, prolific and fertile bigamist.
Sanctimonious Poppermince: Direct male descendant of Troubadour, current mayor and a disappointment.
Generous Tupelo: A woman with eyes for fun and a body for sin.

“the legend of the time before”
“along the non-existent waterfront”
“gunpowder explodes, fireworks delight”
“clouds play peek-a-boo with moon”
“homemade gravy for the grits”
“unsuccessful sultry spring seduction”
“where there is snow there are complaints”
“thankfully the tavern had stocked up”
“air as crisp as a grilled McIntosh”
“auction night to fill the food pantry”
“discontent brews in men’s souls”
“boogie to classic carols”
“sometimes surrender is inevitable”
“misty smells gather in the valley”
“a collector of all things rare”
“pass the salt please”
“monuments fossilized by the past”
“secret sauce of peppermint schnapps”
“always read the fine print”

always read the fine print

Lavender Roaring Fork Clinchfield was on the board of the Pepper Gum National Bank and Trust. Although the institution had sound financials, on paper, any expectation of dividends had been doused when reports of the Nigerian scam leaked. The Weekly Shill duly reported the news with all seriousness, but was tempered by a healthy cash donation to the Coffee Klatch fund. The short-lived scandal quietly died to an ember after the decaying landfill caught fire. The spectacle soon became a festive party: when the fragrant smoke blew away from town that is. Food wagons circled the dump like scavenging seagulls.

The Daily Post prompt
Three Word Wednesday prompt

Authors note: This link Iron Hollows Fiction goes to the “Iron Hollows” category of 100-drabble fiction segments or click each drabble link below. They are not serially linked but rather vignettes set in and around the fictional town of Iron Hollows.

Dramatis Personae:
Lavender Roaring Fork Clinchfield: True scion of the South: notable for his fashion plate and bachelorhood.
Chromium: An American Blue Gascon fond of sniffing the ladies.
Miss Forsythia and Miss Hydrangea: Perky and together in that way.
Troubadour Peppermint: Deceased founder and savvy huckster.
Harmonious Intent: Deceased rival to Troubadour, prolific and fertile bigamist.
Sanctimonious Poppermince: Direct male descendant of Troubadour, current mayor and a disappointment.
Generous Tupelo: A woman with eyes for fun and a body for sin.

“the legend of the time before”
“along the non-existent waterfront”
“gunpowder explodes, fireworks delight”
“clouds play peek-a-boo with moon”
“homemade gravy for the grits”
“unsuccessful sultry spring seduction”
“where there is snow there are complaints”
“thankfully the tavern had stocked up”
“air as crisp as a grilled McIntosh”
“auction night to fill the food pantry”
“discontent brews in men’s souls”
“boogie to classic carols”
“sometimes surrender is inevitable”
“misty smells gather in the valley”
“a collector of all things rare”
“pass the salt please”
“monuments fossilized by the past”
“secret sauce of peppermint schnapps”

secret sauce of peppermint schnapps

Lavender Roaring Fork Clinchfield tried to resist, but one whiff of the sweet, tangy sauce of Bubba & Helga’s Smoke Haus, caused his mouth to quiver with excitement. He, like all his fellow Iron Hollerins, sat outside, astride clean picnic tables under umbrellas, to consume salty fat culinary fixin’s. It was not often Lavender’s mind became unhinged, but even the most vapid of denizens could recognize the masterpiece that was smoked ribs. Bubba had been swept away by Helga’s overwhelming beauty, her by his sausage, and when he’d met her father, the butcher, after the war, a merger was negotiated.

The Daily Post prompt
Three Word Wednesday prompt

Authors note: This link Iron Hollows Fiction goes to the “Iron Hollows” category of 100-drabble fiction segments or click each drabble link below. They are not serially linked but rather vignettes set in and around the fictional town of Iron Hollows.

Dramatis Personae:
Lavender Roaring Fork Clinchfield: True scion of the South: notable for his fashion plate and bachelorhood.
Chromium: An American Blue Gascon fond of sniffing the ladies.
Miss Forsythia and Miss Hydrangea: Perky and together in that way.
Troubadour Peppermint: Deceased founder and savvy huckster.
Harmonious Intent: Deceased rival to Troubadour, prolific and fertile bigamist.
Sanctimonious Poppermince: Direct male descendant of Troubadour, current mayor and a disappointment.
Generous Tupelo: A woman with eyes for fun and a body for sin.

“the legend of the time before”
“along the non-existent waterfront”
“gunpowder explodes, fireworks delight”
“clouds play peek-a-boo with moon”
“homemade gravy for the grits”
“unsuccessful sultry spring seduction”
“where there is snow there are complaints”
“thankfully the tavern had stocked up”
“air as crisp as a grilled McIntosh”
“auction night to fill the food pantry”
“discontent brews in men’s souls”
“boogie to classic carols”
“sometimes surrender is inevitable”
“misty smells gather in the valley”
“a collector of all things rare”
“pass the salt please”
“monuments fossilized by the past”

monuments fossilized by the past

Lavender Roaring Fork Clinchfield was ten when he realized that water, like kindness, shouldn’t be taken for granted. The devastation of drought was only eclipsed by the scandalous town council’s behavior. Without oversight, a unanimous vote allowed Lucky Brewery to exceed allocated withdrawals from the communal reservoir. Ostensibly owned by the rotund Fortuna Gypsum, through a devious series of blind trusts, the brewery was a taxpayer-funded laundry where money was washed clean by hops. The parched crops withered and the soil subsided. Poetic justice perhaps when, with a loud burp that rattled windows, Lucky Brewery was swallowed by a sinkhole.

The Daily Post prompt
Three Word Wednesday prompt

Authors note: This link Iron Hollows Fiction goes to the “Iron Hollows” category of 100-drabble fiction segments or click each drabble link below. They are not serially linked but rather vignettes set in and around the fictional town of Iron Hollows.

Dramatis Personae:
Lavender Roaring Fork Clinchfield: True scion of the South: notable for his fashion plate and bachelorhood.
Chromium: An American Blue Gascon fond of sniffing the ladies.
Miss Forsythia and Miss Hydrangea: Perky and together in that way.
Troubadour Peppermint: Deceased founder and savvy huckster.
Harmonious Intent: Deceased rival to Troubadour, prolific and fertile bigamist.
Sanctimonious Poppermince: Direct male descendant of Troubadour, current mayor and a disappointment.
Generous Tupelo: A woman with eyes for fun and a body for sin.

“the legend of the time before”
“along the non-existent waterfront”
“gunpowder explodes, fireworks delight”
“clouds play peek-a-boo with moon”
“homemade gravy for the grits”
“unsuccessful sultry spring seduction”
“where there is snow there are complaints”
“thankfully the tavern had stocked up”
“air as crisp as a grilled McIntosh”
“auction night to fill the food pantry”
“discontent brews in men’s souls”
“boogie to classic carols”
“sometimes surrender is inevitable”
“misty smells gather in the valley”
“a collector of all things rare”
“pass the salt please”

pass the salt please

Lavender Roaring Fork Clinchfield gave the invitation a baleful stare reserved for venomous reptiles. The proverbial poison pen, cloaked in curvaceous calligraphy. From an aesthetic perspective, attendance at the Daughters of Harmonious Intent luncheon, allowed the opportunity to wear period finery: however, only a neophyte would be oblivious of the turbulent history. Whether or not he was a misogynist, Harmonious Intent had certainly been a serial bigamist. His progeny made up a significant voting bloc; now in bitter opposition to Sanctimonious Poppermince’s mayoral reign. Politics by family tree was a southern blood sport: the spots hard to remove from silk.

The Daily Post prompt
Three Word Wednesday prompt

Authors note: This link Iron Hollows Fiction goes to the “Iron Hollows” category of 100-drabble fiction segments or click each drabble link below. They are not serially linked but rather vignettes set in and around the fictional town of Iron Hollows.

Dramatis Personae:
Lavender Roaring Fork Clinchfield: True scion of the South: notable for his fashion plate and bachelorhood.
Chromium: An American Blue Gascon fond of sniffing the ladies.
Miss Forsythia and Miss Hydrangea: Perky and together in that way.
Troubadour Peppermint: Deceased founder and savvy huckster.
Harmonious Intent: Deceased rival to Troubadour, prolific and fertile bigamist.
Sanctimonious Poppermince: Direct male descendant of Troubadour, current mayor and a disappointment.
Generous Tupelo: A woman with eyes for fun and a body for sin.

“the legend of the time before”
“along the non-existent waterfront”
“gunpowder explodes, fireworks delight”
“clouds play peek-a-boo with moon”
“homemade gravy for the grits”
“unsuccessful sultry spring seduction”
“where there is snow there are complaints”
“thankfully the tavern had stocked up”
“air as crisp as a grilled McIntosh”
“auction night to fill the food pantry”
“discontent brews in men’s souls”
“boogie to classic carols”
“sometimes surrender is inevitable”
“misty smells gather in the valley”
“a collector of all things rare”

a collector of all things rare

Lavender Roaring Fork Clinchfield had a weakness for ephemera. As a lad of tender years, he’d once run away and joined the circus. His kindred were not amused, but a spark for paper and posters had been lit. He would jockey at auctions, scour flea markets, and cling to obscure scraps best sent to the landfill. Chromium enjoyed paper too: it added fiber to his diet. His lopsided focus on the detritus of consumptions past, filled several locked rooms of his mansion and viewing was a mandatory fieldtrip each year for third graders. There were often mysterious illnesses that day.

The Daily Post prompt
Three Word Wednesday prompt

Authors note: This link Iron Hollows Fiction goes to the “Iron Hollows” category of 100-drabble fiction segments or click each drabble link below. They are not serially linked but rather vignettes set in and around the fictional town of Iron Hollows.

Dramatis Personae:
Lavender Roaring Fork Clinchfield. True scion of the South: notable for his fashion plate and bachelorhood.
Chromium. An American Blue Gascon fond of sniffing the ladies.
Miss Forsythia and Miss Hydrangea. Perky and together in that way.
Troubadour Peppermint. Deceased founder and savvy huckster.
Sanctimonious Poppermince. Direct male descendant, current mayor and a disappointment.
Generous Tupelo. A woman with eyes for fun and a body for sin.

“the legend of the time before”
“along the non-existent waterfront”
“gunpowder explodes, fireworks delight”
“clouds play peek-a-boo with moon”
“homemade gravy for the grits”
“unsuccessful sultry spring seduction”
“where there is snow there are complaints”
“thankfully the tavern had stocked up”
“air as crisp as a grilled McIntosh”
“auction night to fill the food pantry”
“discontent brews in men’s souls”
“boogie to classic carols”
“sometimes surrender is inevitable”
“misty smells gather in the valley”